stupid questions...smart ass answers

Why is a lizard's first reaction to run straight in front of your tire instead of perpendicular?

 

I accidentally chased a plump chipmunk for a good 5 seconds.. Cute little fella..not too smart though...

 

I'd say most likely they want to get away and the clear path you are rolling on is the smoothest/fastest way for the lizard to get up to speed. Then, there is the zig-zagging back and forth in front of you for a short spell before they finally turn off the trail and head into the brush. A lizard doesn't know that a mountain bike is faster than it is.

 

That's the same reaction most people on the trail have. They see you coming and instead of stepping aside they jump in front of you.

 

The squirrels on the Kern River Bike trail do the same thing. Seen plenty of wrecks when they do this.

 

It's a sign of machoism to the lizards. Cheating death gives you higher rank amongst their kind. Chick lizards think it's cool.

 

Same reason a rattlesnake will try to bite and kill you if you crash and land on it.

 

And therefore, people are like lizards.

 

We've found the missing link!

 

And when they are in groups.....each person goes to the opposite side of the trail.

 

It's always better to be a smart ass than a dumb Sh!t.

 

THANK you!!!

 

It's also always better to be pissed off than pissed on.

 

Idioms thread please....

 

Why did the mountain lion cross the road?

Because he doesn't know any better.

 

Except for the dipstick with the skull candies stuffed up against his/her stirrup.

That...individual...stays oblivious and dead center blocking path of travel.

 

Even better, the noise canceling Beats headphones so they aren't bothered by the sounds of nature.

 

Or the boombox in a backpack so no one else gets bothered by nature!