It's not the rain.....

It's not the rain that's pissing me off...it's the laundry!

I have stated numerous times about having the right gear and riding when it's wet. I really don't mind getting a little wet....but, these days, when there is 100% humidity, there is just no way to keep dry.
Ok, I can deal with that. Take some extra dry clothes in a gallon ziploc baggy and be dry for a few minutes on the way down.
Then you get home.
And the wife doesn't want you to come into the condo soaking wet and muddy. So I strip down in the garage (closed-you sickos!) and there is hundreds of dollars of mtb gear in a wet, dirty pile on the floor.
No problem. I got enough stuff to go out wearing some old gear the next day...same results. The pile gets higher.
And stinkier.
So now it's time to do the laundry. Throw in everyone else stuff and it's a pile. And I'm the laundry guy. The stinking, wet, dirty pile is my job. I live in a condo so I have to do the laundry in the communal laundry room. This increases my chances of interaction with other human beings. They are either using "my" machines, or waiting for me to finish. And get this-sometimes they want to talk-about inane everyday stuff like President Cheeto!
How dare they! I just want to clean my gear.
If I pack it up and go to the laundromat-I can do it all in one load-yeah! But there are crazy people in the laundromat-they stand in their underwear behind the washer while their one set of clothes is being washed.
Boozy-eyed floozies smile and cross their legs seductively(?) Yikes!
And little, booger-picking kids come over to ask if I'm their daddy!
What is a normal guy like me to do?
So I sulk and act mean, well it's barely an act, as the industrial dryer fries my lycra and melts any plastic that survived the front-loading tsunami wash.
Oh my life is rife with first world problems...
How about yours?

 

People are overrated.

People in the checkout line at the grocery store (or anywhere really). They act all surprised they actually have to come up with some sort of payment method when the scanner quits beeping.

Fumble fumble where'd I put my money or card damn need to use my food stamps...

Meanwhile, I'm drilling holes through their heads with my glare.

Have a nice f@@@ing day!!

 

I can only dream of having such an eventful life!
I got drenched on my ride this morning. Showered, threw my wet gear in the washer. Now I'm having coffee and pancakes at my local diner. FML.

 

See what I mean? It's horrible!!!!!

 

Somehow weve got to hurry up this "ONE WORLD THING", that should solve our problems.

 

In dry clothes I hope.....not yer undies.

 

BTW, that's a pretty funny post Rossage! Glad you're here.

 

Oh Ross we can always count on you to provide the entertainment... I'd much rather be worried about my dirty, stinky, wet riding gear than be at work though.

 

Fuggit, hang that dank shite in the rain and wait for the sun to come out and dry it.


vvv, Damn, @Rumpled, you've got that pretty well tweaked

 

I've got a nice washer and dryer in my condo; but my wife doesn't like really dirty muddy stuff in her nice machines. A lot I can hose off on the patio and then run through the machines.
The dog towels, blankets and shop rags are definitely verbotten in the machines.
I go to a local laundromat that has a pizza joint next door for those goodies.
I pick an evening with a game I want to watch. Through stuff in the washer and go get some pizza and beer. Watch a period or half of a game. Go next door and move stuff to the dryer and stuff a bunch more quarters in. Back to the pizza joint for another beer and sports to watch. Back to the laundromat to empty the driers and home I guy.
The people in the laundromat are as expected, but I've had no problems. I have heard of laundry room theft, but that's just weird.

 

Seriously, stealing someone's threads? Joke's on whoever takes mine and finds all the holes, rips and stains at home.

 

Oh yeah! There used to be a place I would go to in Florida called Suds and duds and they had cheap beer on tap for sale while you did the laundry.
Since I don't drink, anymore, I might open one called......
Drum roll.....
Buds and duds!
Take a puff while you wash your stuff!
Be a flyer while it's in the dryer....

 

I haven't done laundry in over 20 years (I'm married)...... I don't remember it being such a big deal.

 

I was just about to say the same thing but it's only been 13 years for me.

 

Beats doing the dishes!
But that's another story. ...

 

What's marriage have to do with laundry?

 

No dishes for the last 20 years either...... There is a good explanation to it. I'm married.

 

I just keep my riding clothes on, get in the shower, soap them up, rinse, take them off, soap my sexy body up, rinse. Then hang to dry.

 

Sounds more like human trafficking than a marriage....

 

Okay, that response was pretty damn good....

 

My wife and I have a great system. She cooks, I do the dishes. I cook, she does the dishes.

I do my own laundry so it's done when I need it.

 

So am I the only one that caught this faux pas? "as the industrial dryer fries my lycra"
On top of the dryer okay, but never in the dryer.

 

If you ask my wife she will tell you that she has a very good life....

I never said my wife does all the laundry, cooking, cleaning ect.

 

How long do you find yourself hanging there til you dry?

 

I don't do any of those things.....just don't ask my wife.

 

I wish I had this problem, instead I have a pile of monkey suits that need dry cleaning while my riding clothes are neatly folded in the closet feeling neglected. AND I have discovered a moth problem in my house, little holes are appearing in some of my suits... just saw this one today.

Dang!

 

Cedar blocks, stat!

 

Jeez people! Relax.
My "story" was never meant to be taken seriously, or as a tutorial on what to do, or not do, while laundering.
If I told you that my left sock got wet this morning while uneventfully doing the mundane task of cleaning my muddy riding gear, I doubt anybody would have cared.
For entertainment purposes only, I chose to use alternative facts in describing what actually did not happen....in Bowling Green!
C'mon over and hang with me and the Dude. Abide.