Depression

Hi family.... I'm going to vent some stuff here.... Already talked to my better half and that help me !!
Mom got diagnosed with alzeimer/mild dementia... We have seen her from 3 years ago asking the same questions, saying stuff that doesn't make sense, and while my sisters used to tell me about it, deep inside me I knew something was off.... But always wanted her to be in good health I used to ignore her symptoms.... Last year my mom startrd to have crisis and after some visitis to the ER what we feared was real.... She is seeing doctors/specialists and is taking medicine, strong I guess because she moves slow and only talks very little, sometimes she don't recognize me ot my brothers or sisters, she only smiles....
From my part, I'm feeling really sad, it is taking a big toll on me... I used to be the strongest on my famy even tough I'm the sandwich (2 older bros and 3 younger sis, I'm in the middle) Some times I put order between the family or the ask me for advice for a lot of things.... But lately I'm feeling scared, nervous,sad, angry.. I got a beautiful family,been married for 12 years and been dating my wife 7 years prior marriage.. I have 2 beuatiful girls....
I talked to my doctor, for my yearly physical, and explained to him my situation, he gave me a anti-depression pill, that goes before going to sleep, the first time in my life... I took it the 1st day and felt kind of sad, the 2nd day and it was the worst day in my life so far (yesterday). Woke up midday didn't feel hungry ate half sandwich and family left to do some stuff I just eanted to sleep some more, woke up scared and sweaty and sleep some more, went to visit mom and dad and during the travel which is 45 min. I had various mood swings... After the visit went to work and had ups and downs the whole nigth... Sad, scared nervous, good, anxious.... Oh man !!! Came home and I STOPED taking the pill, so far I still feel so so.. talked to my wife and felt good...... I know it going to be a long road....with mom..... Thank you and God bless us all. Any comment will be greatly apprecaited.

 

Never met you bud, but keep your chin up. If you're ever near the Santa Monica Mtns during the week, I'll gladly meet you for a spin. Just shoot me a PM, I have a pretty flexible schedule and I will do all I can to accommodate yours.

 

Sounds like you had a miserable experience with a a pharmacological solution to a psychological situation. I would trust your instincts and run away from medication unless you have some proven chemical deficiency that has to be corrected (unlikely). Watching your parents deteriorate is a painful part of life. Taking care of them as they revert back to infancy is extremely difficult. It's also perfectly natural. It's OK to be sad about it. Sadness and actual deep depression are two different sides of the same coin, however. I am guessing since the bulk of us here at IMTB are in our 50s, we have all experienced or are currently experiencing the deterioration of our parents. Some have long struggles with cancer or Alzheimer's, others go more gracefully.

Disclaimer - I am not a doctor, so you should pretty much just ignore my opinion. Most people on IMTB do!

 

Ride your mountain bike, it should help!

 

Jaime bud we haven't met but you're a good dude and a member here so you're a friend of mine and I suspect many others here. While I'm a long ways from being a doc or an expert in any field for that matter I applaud you for your honesty and I think you have done good by getting it out there and letting people know what your feelings are. No matter how simple we try to keep it life always seems to throw curveballs. Be there for the family but remember mountain bikes are therapuedic and a great way to clear your head.

 

Jaime, I don't know you either but we are a community here, so my thoughts are with you. Like others have said, ride your bike and clear your head. It sounds like you take care of your family but don't forget to take care of yourself too.

Also, don't be afraid to reach out to a mental health professional. If your dr. and insurance won't refer you, there are plenty of low-cost/ no-cost options that you can find through:

http://ochealthinfo.com/bhs/about/pi/oclinks

 

Hey J, thanks for putting this out there. Might help, might not, but thanks for trusting us with it.
Psych meds can take up to a month to regulate, and often even longer if you switch from X to Y to Z.
X sounded pretty bad for you!
Talk with your Dr., preferably a psychiatrist and not a general practitioner.

 

Thanks a lot for your comments !!! I really appreciate all your words !! The effects of the drug is going away little by little.... as for now I feel better than 10 hrs ago, I'm sure the effect will go away completly by tomorrow and you guys rock !!! It is amaizing how a little pill can let loose so much in your head..... Wifey help me a lot in the morning paying attention to all I said and went tru in the morning... Thanks again my family... and yes, as soon as I can a ride is on order..

 

Much respect, @jaime, for putting yourself out there/here. This place is theraputic indeed, so keep expressing yourself. A bike ride, a few kind words, some anecdotal opinions, take it one day at a time, and you will adapt to some degree. Cherish every moment you have with your mom. Consider that you are walking in her footsteps, for she cared for you (and your brothers and sisters) as children, so now you are doing the same. If you are the kind of caring man she envisioned when you were a child, know you are doing good and she would be proud. Hang in there, and here's to Mrs. Jaime.

 

Jaime,

Sometimes we don't know how to cope with stuff. A good professional who is averse to pharma-happiness can help. Trust me. If you need a reference for someone who has helped someone very close to me through difficulty (without drugs) pm me.

I think you are on the right path. We married couples lean on each other. That is what it's all about, right?

Good luck, and try to ride!

Strand

 

Hang in there Jaime. Life is full of hurdles. Stay strong and ride often. Biking is the best therapy.

 

Hey Bud!
Over the last couple of years I have tried some anti-depressants in attempt to cope with high pressure at work. None of them worked well. What did work better was taking the time to focus and be thankful for what I did have. I know, sounds korny and possibly lame.

Seems like it's rare to age gracefully, and emotionally devastating when a loved one has health challenges.
There is only a couple of things I found that really help:

• When I'm really down I make sure I surround myself with lots of good people. It will go against what you want to do, but isolating yourself gives your mind the chance to gang up on you, think the worse, drive yourself deeper into depression. Stay busy and stay surrounded.
• Focus on the good things you can do. Like pretending to be positive. Well THAT sounds silly, but it's true! I found if I act positive long enough I "become" positive. I would tell people in my leadership meetings that when you walk around with a smile on your face, your body will follow.
• Long term, there is a reason for everything. We may not like it or understand it.

Stay strong for your loved ones. You apparently have been the glue in the past, they need you now. Staying busy being the strength and encouragement, it rubs off, including on yourself!

Much love, and care for you my imtb brothah!!!
Smile! Smile! Smile!
Mikie

 

Jaime-

I think you found that it's sometimes helpful to just let things out- as you did in your post above. Putting thoughts on paper, or supportive internet forum, can help us think through the fog, and see things more clearly. Maybe more clearly than the drugs?

And, lean on your wife... That was the only thing that helped me through dealing with everything when my Dad was sick. She was really my rock.

 

Best wishes for getting through it, Jaime. I can't add much to the advice here, but I can commiserate with you about seeing a family member begin to fade. It's a difficult thing to live through. Stay strong and be fair with yourself. Holler if you want to hit the trail. Namaste, bro.

 

Thank you guys, I feel better with your support and kind words and knowing I belong to this beautiful family !! Right now I'm having another talk with my wife, about how I was feeling yesterday at work.......man I had all the side effects posible of the medicine.... from dry mouth to palpitations.... But the drug is wearing off I can feel it, as the hours go by... .
This medicine is good for other people but for me it was the worst experience so far in my life mental/health related.... I know the mind is so powerful, but drugged is the scariest thing possible.. but I'm feeling better guys, thanks for reading my post.

 

Here's a really good article on riding and mental health: http://www.bicycling.com/culture/pe...-how-one-cyclist-gained-control-over-his-adhd
Not exactly a medical journal and it's focusing on ADD/ADHD, but a LOT of what it discusses is very applicable.

 

Might be my first post here but I just wanted to give you big ups on reaching out. Reaching out to your doctor, to your wife, to this community. Keep it up, you don't need to bottle anything up. Keep communicating, keep reaching out to different sources for support. Especially when it comes to mental health; everyone is an individual. What works, what doesn't. But in all cases, communication is key; so I think you're on the right path. Good luck (and good vibes to Mom as well).

 

@no worries , Great first post my friend...

 

Thank you no worries, it is helping me a lot talking about it, right now I'm heading along with my family to visit my parents and take them to eat, I feel very good and positive, I'm really happy I reached out to my friends/family here @imtb !!
All your comments help me guys, thaks again !! @Mikie thanks for making us feel at home here with all this great family !!

 

Welcome, neighbor! I'm down the road in RSM...

 

also my first post. Can't say anything about taking meds or not but a long time ago, my grandmother was in the hospital. She wasn't doing well, but she was over 85. Doctor said, she should stay here to monitor her heart. Gma said, I want to go home. Won't and can't better here. Prayed and talk to her some more. Finally told doctor we are taking her home. Doctor said no way. We took her home anyway after signing some liability papers. She immediately improved. Next week on follow up, doctor said she's fine..
Sometimes, you just have to go with your gut instincts...

take care my friend... ride as much as possible....

 

Jaime, I'm just going to echo what everyone above has touched on. Bravo for reaching out!

Alzheimer's and dementia is a scary and hopeless situation to face. I wish nothing but the best for your mom in this situation. I want you to take a look at this documentary "Alive Inside", I saw it a while back on Netflix. Might be available online. Basically it's about using music as therapy for Alzheimer's and dementia.
My friend would take his moms favorite music from Cuba whenever he visited her. He told me that his mom would suddenly remember not only the lyrics, but the artist and composer.
The documentary touches on the fact that music is stored in our emotional side of the brain. A part that somehow is not affected by the disease, but unexpectedly has a way to trigger the memory part of the brain.
I hope this helps. If anything, you get to listen to mom's favorite music while you spend time with her, rancheras, norteñas, cumbia, whatever it may be.