What's Cooking?

So there I was, in Lanzhou, Gansu, China. Eating lunch at a locally famous hot pot restaurant. Hot pot is a usually spicy soup in which everyone eating adds items to the soup at their discretion. Vegetables, meats, noodles....
And then the waiter approached. He carried a large siver tray, with a silver dome cover. As he reached the table, he removed the cover, sat it down and produced a large flat bladed knife. I saw pink....assumed it was meat, but as he tilted the tray, he used the knife to slide six sheep brains into the simmering pot.
"Damn! F@ck! I gotta eat this Sh!t!" I said to myself. Any thoughts of a tasty lunch went out of my mind.
The brains quickly separated into gelatinous blobs that were impossible to avoid and were soon slithering down my throat. Fortunately, the taste was mostly covered by the intense spicy oils in the soup.
Then the f@cking waiter came by agan and dropped Dio's mom's sheepshead into the soup in a final coup de grace to my taste buds.
Yeah, I ate it. I ate brains and face and skull meats unnamed. The floating head watched with whitening eyeballs as it's meat cooked off and floated in the brain-infused soup. I ate even more.
I told my hosts how great it was. How we didn't eat like this in America. I also told them I needed to use the restroom.
I went to the festering porcelain-ringed hole that passes for a toilet in rural China with full intentions of inducing vomiting but I didn't have to! My body knew what to do as I leaned over into the sewer gases. A soul-cleansing heave brought brains and face up and out in a burning firehose of vomit and undigested vegetables. A couple of dry heaves, and I wiped my chin and returned to the table as if nothing happened.
Bon appetit!

 

Woulda been easier to just keep it down and avoid the stomach acid.

 

Damn you have a way of telling a story. Unfortunately, you were so vivid, I just threw up in my mouth a little. My wife's mom is from Kentucky, so I had to contend with dumplings and cornbread. Waaaaaaay better...

 

Ross always has that certain twist & something extra to his stories but its just enough to make em believable.

 

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Chow down, Hogs!!!!

 

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Uber lazy meal. Bought the stuffed pork and asparagus from Sprout's. 40 mins in the oven for the pork and 8 mins in the microwave for the asparagus. Made some steamed rice to finish it off. Tried microwaving the bacon on the asparagus...that didn't turn out too great.

 

If you've ever had salami/bologna/hot dog
you've had face.
Save the cheeks for me!

 

Couple pieces of filet mignon ready for the grill. Only Lawry's seasoned salt and garlic pepper. This gon' be gud!

On the BBQ for 25 minutes and down the hatch.

With green beans and spinach/spring mix salad. Da bomb.

 

25 minutes!?!? You must like it burnt!? LOL

 

No, but I don't want it mooing at me either.

 

If you want chocolate chip cookies done right, you gotta do it yourself.

I got shanghaied into making them but they're not for me. Just as well...

 

Nice looking pie!

 

Thanks, dough is from a local pizza place, sauce is homemade. Still working on getting it just right, but this is my best to date.

 

Since my last post here was a little gross, here something way more palatable.
This is my wife making rou jia mu-kind of like a spicy Chinese version of carnitas.

My wife making the bread


Adding the meat

Ready to eat!

Medicated brownies for later...

 

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Can't do sweet slaw. Mine is cabbage, salt, pepper, mayo and a smidge of mustard.

 

Post-ride vegan imitation in-n-out grilled cheese

 

^ just like the legend of Sasquatch...I've heard about these in the wild but now I've seen one captured on film! (errr...digital film...haha)

 

Cedar-planked salmon with asparagus. Believe it or not, the salmon is pre-packaged on the cedar at Wal-Mart.

Already seasoned in the package. Unwrapped and put on grill. Added some sauteed mushrooms in butter and teriyaki sauce. Holy crap this is tasty!!

 

Penne pasta with a red sauce with sausage, garlic and diced onion. Sauteed onions, assorted bell pepper and zuke. Garlic cheese toast courtesy of Dal Rae bubbling straight out of the broiler. All paired with an excellent Turley zin from the Duarte vineyard, Contra Costa Co. Vines planted between 1890 and 1930. Words fail.

 

I didn't cook it but we found a Japanese market in sgv that cuts sashimi to order! My son and I went a little overboard for lunch.

 

Eggies with fingerling potatoes, onions and most importantly, SPAM!!

 

^^Dam...that looks awesome!

 

Well lets see, in the master bedroom, I've got a new batch of meth cooking up. In the 3rd bedroom, the moonshine still is brewing up a fresh batch of white lightning, and in the 2nd bedroom, the hooker who is staying in there tonight is cooking hot! Any questions?

 

The only question I have is, did you fire your joke writer??

 

Wouldn't that make me a cannibal?

 

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