I hate the holidays

Currently dealing with us having to place my inlaws and my aunt in care homes. Dementia for all 3. Covid removed my aunts ability to walk. It is not just the flu. This kind of Sh!t always sem to go down on the holidays. My bike is lonely

 

Sorry...

And I share the sentiment about the holidays. I could do without... Six years ago today my big sister left the world. Can't believe it's been that long. I remember writing about it on the forum when I got back.

I'm lucky to still ride a lot... It really does help the mind. I hope you can find some time and some peace.

 

I'm sorry Gary, even one family member with dementia would be a lot for anyone to deal with. Thoughts with you and hope you can get some time on the bike to get a little respite.

 

I am sorry to hear that it has been a rough 2+ years for me...
This last incredibly hard stretch started on New Year's Day last year. Like you say, it's always around the holidays.

But I have got my father stabilized.... My stepmother has transition to full memory care and she's doing better. It took a lot though.

Yoga breathe and don't get too far ahead!

Good luck. Take care!

 

Bummer Gary! As always life never claimed it was easy. Just another valley to trudge through but it almost always has light at the other end. Hang in there buddy!

 

Sorry to hear, Gary. Hang in there. I know you will.

 

I debated whether to post this or not.....but kinda needed an avenue let it out. It's a difficult read.

Friday was my 50th birthday. Honestly it's just a number and not that big of a deal. However, Friday night my world was suddenly flipped upside down.

My phone range at 2:55am Friday night. I heard it ring. Suz heard it ring. I didn't rush up to answer it. Kinda figured it was a wrong number. Since we both heard it, we did get up to check it. I saw the missed call was from Mom. Now my mom is a cancer survivor, but her health over the last several years hasn't been good. She has a limited immune system, susceptible to pnuemonia and other pulminary issues. I figured dad was calling to tell me something was wrong with mom, as it wouldn't have been the first time.

I immediately called back and mom hysterically answered the phone. Said she found dad on the floor in the bathroom and she thinks he is gone. She tried calling my sister, but no answer, she tried calling Suz, no answer.

We scrambled. I attempted to call my sister....no answer. Call my brother in law....no answer. We drive over to my sister's house as it was on the way to mom's. Bang on the door at 3am, wake up the house only to have to tell my sister that dad is gone. WTF???

Got to mom's a few mins later......heart racing. Santa Ana PD cruiser in front of the house. Mom was in tears. Paramedics had already pronounced my dad before we got there.

My mom went to bed shortly before 10pm. She got up shortly before 3am to use the bathroom when she found him. She said he was already cold. He was 72.

My dad was as healthy as one could be. He was a smoker, but had no lung or heart issues. I spoke to him Friday morning when he called to wish me HBD. We joked and had a good laugh as we always did, said he'd see us Saturday night for my BD dinner. He and mom went out to dinner Friday night....he was fine. This was as sudden and out of left field as could be. Let's just say that if you put odds on who in my extended family would be the next to pass.....my dad would not have even been in that conversation.

The paramedics said based on his condition, that he was gone before he hit the floor.

My parents have been married 51 years.....they married when he was 21 and she was 16.....I came along when she was 17. My dad was her world. He was all of our worlds.

I'm sitting here dumbfounded, gutted and a little lost. My mentor, best friend......my hero is gone.

We will never know what he cause was. He was an organ donor, and the window for that was closing fast. We spoke to the organ donor organization today, and they were able to harvest some valuable parts....this helps in our healing a little.

I take solace in knowing that I at least talked to him on his last day.

Needless to say this will forever change the way this holiday season is for our family.

We are all grieving in our own ways. Fortunately our extended family is really close. Hell, we had 12 people at my mom's house at 4am yesterday morning.

Thanks for letting me vent.

 

Oh no J!

My heart goes out to you and your family... Nothing much to say but stay close to everyone.

I am glad to hear that you're close with your father.

Take care. Let us know how you're feeling when you come up for air.

Stick close to Mom obviously.

 

Sorry JZilla.

 

Oh God... Oh Jason I am so sorry. I have no other words.

 

Sorry for your loss, Jason.

 

Very sorry to hear this Jason. Life literally can change in the blink of an eye. My dad has been gone for 25 years now but it still seems like yesterday.

 

My condolences to you and your family.

 

I am at lost for words.
I'm condolences to you and your family.

 

Like others have said, there really are no words that seem to fit…

We’re here if you want to vent, if you want to ride, if you just need a break…

 

So sorry to hear this. You have my deepest condolences.

 

Jason, a part of what you said above hit home for me, "My dad was her world". A perfect way to describe what my mom and dad had between them. I lost my dad in 2017. I am happy to say that my mom has carried on since then but it's easy to see how much she misses him.

I am relieved to hear that his passing went quickly. I wish the best to you and your family during this difficult time.

 

So sorry Jason! My mother passing was yesterday 4 yrs ago. Such a hard thing losing our parents.

 

Ah crap my sincerest condolences J. I can't even pretend to comprehend what you and your family must be going through right now.

Kia kaha (stay strong)

 

@mtnbikej, condolences from my family to yours.

 

Condolences to your family and everyone who is going through hard times right now. I won’t rattle off the whole story, but in the last 4 yrs I have lost Mom, Dad, both brothers and my sister. I appreciate my family that is with me, but Holidays are still painful.

 

I feel for your loss, and my deepest condolences. You can be there for your mom and take solace that he didn't suffer.

 

Jason, I'm so sorry for you and your family. My dad passed in much the same way, in 2013. When a loved one has serious medical issues and is declining (as my mom did, of cancer in 2005), you can mentally prepare yourself for the void that is to come when they're gone. When a healthy person just goes out of the blue, it is so much harder for those left behind. I'm really glad for you, though, that you got to talk to your dad when you did, that will be a cherished memory. Take good care, J.

 

I am very sorry

 

Words fail me, and would be meaningless anyway. Heartfelt condolences to you and your family.

 

praying for you @mtnbikej and all that are close to your father.

 

Jason, I have no other words than condolences and hope you and your family can have some solace from the time you had him with you. My dad went kinda the same way, back in June of 2000. It still hits me now and then.

 

Thanks for all the kind words. I know I'm not the only one to experience this....but it sure feels like i'm on my own private island.

Then again I am in way better shape than my mom, sister and niece.

I know time heals all wounds, just wish it would speed up a bit.

 

So sorry J