E-swim!

E-Swim - is it the next Big Wave?



People who don't want to be bothered by the time and effort required to learn how to swim now have a new ally: the Whiteshark E-Swimmer by Sublue. We caught up with Deap Sixx, the Vice President of Sales for Sublue, at the recent 2019 E-World Expo, to get his opinion of his company's new product.

"Every time I go to the beach, there's always someone drowning", Sixx sighed. "It's a real downer. But one day while riding my Magnum XXX Mountain Beotch E-Bike, I realized it didn't have to be this way. The technology exists to strap an electric motor onto anyone, and propel them literally anywhere. Why not the ocean?"

Major retailers like CostCo and Walmart appear to agree. "We're very excited about the potential for this exciting product to excite our bottom line!" enthused Profett Marjen, Walmart's V.P. of E-Buying. "The best thing about the Whiteshark is that we used to sell kickboards for $4.99. Now we can sell a kickboard with a motor for $599.99! It's a win/win for everyone!... or at least for us!"

Last weekend at Calafia State Park, the quiet lapping of the 6' rollers was interrupted by the rumble of twin diesels as the 80' power trimaran "A Fool's Born" pulled to a stop a quarter mile offshore to disgorge its overflowing decks into the ocean for that hour's eco e-swim. "We can't push them in fast enough," chortled Plausa Bill Deneyeabilty, the ship's captain. "Plus, once they're in the water, they're Mother Nature's problem - not mine!"

"Look mommy! I'm swimming!" squealed a young girl as she shot over the crest of a frothy 10' wave right in front of the north rock pile. Lifeguards could be seen waving wildly on the shore in what appeared to be gestures of joy at her new experience. Who knew that reality could be so much fun when it wasn't virtual?

 

E-things I'd be interested in:

E-wiper
E-farming
E-bartender
E-bather

 

Well... we do own an e-car

Other e-things I own (must be rechargeable and cord-less, and an e-version of something that isn't originally electrical):

An e-knife.
An e-screwdriver.
An e-saw.
An e-toothbrush.
An e-razor.

 

The SEALS have been using those for years.