Homeless man... good news... bad news... and now more bad news

Man... whenever we complain about first world Sh!t, just refer to that post.

 

I have a few very minor horror stories of how fast things can go bad. A combination of good luck, good timing, friends, and family bailed me out.

I come home one day to a notice on my door. Pretty large house that my ex wife rented out while I was out to sea. It was a repo notice. A day or two later, the repo guy showed up. The emotional toll it takes is hard to explain. Tough guy knocks on the door, asks "Are you Joshua Tootell", then immediately calls the police on his cell after I reply "yes". I watched him and his partner ride off on both of our motorcycles. Apparently, the ex wasn't paying bills while I was out to sea. I came back from the middle east with a car she bought without consulting me (at full KBB value and 13% interest), a motorcycle (her second, that she couldn't even ride), maxed $10,000 credit card, and a $10,000 "consolidation loan" at 32%! That was the first time I start commuting by bicycle. 13 miles to base on a free mountain bike, 7 miles home (they let the USCG ride the trolley for free). That held up my security clearance, and helped cement the idea that I was a pile of Sh!t at my new unit.

Many many years later. I think things are going okay. I had tried to switch careers, getting out of commercial HVACR as it is rough on the body, and not conducive to training (when I got real serious about my fitness). I am returning from a 24 hour motorcycle race in Lancaster, and I call the ex to let her know I'll be home in a few hours. I was about a third of the way home. When I do get home, the house is pretty quiet. I walk into the bedroom to see my ex asleep in bed, so I try to gently wake her up to tell her I'm home. I get a very muted response. I look over and see about 10 empty pill bottles on the nightstand.

Both of those times luck kept me out of the worst of conditions. I did live in my now ex's truck for about a week when she moved in with a friend out of town. But I was never totally homeless, or without resources. Both times (and other times) I found a way to survive.

As a general rule, I don't give anything to panhandlers. But that is only because I don't know which ones are "professionally homeless", and which are just down on their luck. I had major support every time something happened to me, and aside from not leaving my ex sooner, I was not at fault in any way. I am sure countless others have had something go wrong they couldn't recover from, and couldn't just move in with a friend and start a new job. I have a huge level of sympathy for those people, and I wish I had the answer as to how to sort them out and support them. I have been terribly close to being one of them, and it sucks.

 

I guess we werent all born w silver spoon..
My dad once said it aint stealing when u take a bag of barley so that ur mother n siblings wont die from starvation...

 

Yep!

 

At which point in your journey did you become a geologist?

 

Actually, my timeline is a little off, it was more like 88 or 89 when that happened. I ended up starting my own messenger service, and then selling it to finance a home and my education. Still have the education. Ex-wife got the house.
I started working as a Geologist in 1998.
I'm currently a carnie that works a bike shops for parts and abuse.

 

I think everybody should strike out in a car or less and experience life less tethered for a time. It's an opportunity to grow and learn – to get to know oneself. Thanks for your share, @rossage.

I had a car and office space for a time, no residence beyond my pickup. Shower at the gym. Sleep parked wherever. Not exactly destitute, but the best part of it? I started dating the weezl during that time. I figured it was a good test – like, it would have to be true love for a decent lass to go for a homeless dood. We got married two months later, and she moved into my truck until we could get a pad. 17 years ago.

I would not trade my stints of "homelessness" for anything. How are you supposed to take a year off if you have to pay rent or mortgage? Wait for retirement? F no.

 

Wow, hell of a story Ross! And to you Sidewalk! I was in the homeless club also for about 3 months but never lived on the streets thankfully! My dad believed in tough love and kicked me out the house, my brothers band member said I could stay at some peoples house I never met who were out of the country for a month, as long as I fed the cats so he didn’t have to do it. I stayed for three scarry weeks not knowing if maybe somebody would see me as breaking in and not familiar, and what if somebody came home early? After that I bounced around various friends places for a few nights and then landed for another three weeks at a different high school buddy's house, then his mom had enough of me free loading and kicked me out, it was raining and I was sick. Walking the street in the rain for 2 hours I broke down and called my parents and said I was screwed and tattooed and dripping with failure, My dad said I’ll pick you up but, you need to enlist in the armed forces by next week. When I got home I helped him put my bed in the garage where I slept till I was gone to boot camp, that’s what it took for me to realize nobody was going to help me but myself.

 

These are great stories...our hardships make us strong and give us character!! I won’t share my shite, but I’m grateful for every bit of it!
@mike @rossage @Sidewalk @hill^billy

 

To date, I don’t deserve consideration amongst these guys with their trails and tribulations. I had all the opportunity an American can wish for, and so did my sister, but she effed that up and would be one of the characters in Rossage’s story if it weren’t for my parents, both of who rose from the ashes.

 

I once had to sleep in a hotel lobby in a snowstorm. That's about it for my hardship stories. I realize I am one turn of luck (or poor choice) away from destitution at any moment.

Thanks fellas for sharing your stories. If we haven't experienced that kind of desperation, I hope we are grateful everyday for what we have, and are willing to share with others in a way that will not contribute to their misery.

 

I know right? But I called his bluff... and he laid down a Full House. I couldn't falsely accuse him of lying and then not give him something. It was a good lesson in humility for me.

 

Yeah. When I tell people that I believe the Army saved my life, they don't understand.

 

I believe it! Sometimes people just need the strict discipline and sense of direction the military provides. I think my youngest son would do well in the military or law enforcement, but that’s for him to decide.

 

Actually the military is not where I learned disclipline. I learned diclipine from my dad and his belt, from my Christain schooling and there paddle, and from my Japanese martial arts instructors and there bamboo swords slapping my lower extrimities, it’s when before we became soft if you can remember.
I just chose not to conform until proven wrong otherwise! Disclipine and advancment in the martial arts from 10 years old to 16 was what I think saved my life!
I was more shocked than anything else in boot camp, I did alot of suffering because of some real sorry individules who ruined it for the ones who tried. Got me ready for real life if that sounds familiar to anybody? It’s where I realized I was not that bad after all.
I became the self appointed drill instuctor and kicked everybody's ass! I think the military did teach me team work though. But remember it only takes a few to ruin it for the team, so to this day I have picked individual type sports. I was not liked by many, not to mention I was from Calif. and also stationed in Calif. while most were very far from home.

 

then some turn out to be relatives. ouch

 

I told my wife that "she just wants me for my money". She snapped back "I didn't want you when you were poor and I don't want you now!". That sobered me up, ''fast"