Hayden and Inge

Alpinists in their 20s, life partners. Hayden was the son of Michael, another alpinist of note. Inge was badass in her own right.

Hayden and Inge went out BC skiing; an early-season run outside Bozeman. A rogue slab avalanche was triggered and hit the two, burrying Inge and partially burying Hayden. Hayden was able to extract himself but unable to locate Inge, who was found the following day under 3' of snow.

It's clear to me that avy transceivers we eschewed on this outing, because a crack alpinist like Hayden would have been able to locate her within minutes with the standard tools. He would have probed the debris to exhaustion, rather than walking out to notify help. Early season, who would expect avy conditions on a familiar run? Some will say now is not the time for this kind of analysis and commentary, and I respect that where relatives and friends of the fallen are likely to read.

Hayden, having lost two mates in separate incidents recently, was pushed past his breaking point and took his life the day Inge was found.


Sometimes I wonder why I put my wife in harm's way. And myself. Sometimes I think it's a bad idea. Most times I just do it, we come home and life is grand. Life is so fragile. I'm conflicted. My tears do nothing to help this situation, and I don't have any meaningful answers.

I'm sorry to be the bearer of the news of this terrible event while other tragedies in CA unfold. Thanks for the ear. Live fully, love fully, with no delay.

 

...because we all die, and life sucks sitting around without being able to think back to being knuckleheads and laughing out loud that you escaped like bandits. This is the antsy Dio talking, and Danger is my first name.

Being you, @mike, is what makes you so badass. Give 'em hell, dude!

If I myself get mangled out there, please @Mikie delete this before my family reads it.

 

Life is sweet, drink it in.

 

Very sad to hear of a tragedy like this, and I understand your conflicts @mike, especially concerning your wife. It's a choice each of us makes to pursue our passions.

Best I can say is we have adventures to add meaning to our lives and honor those we've lost by keeping them in our hearts.

RIP to Hayden and Inge, and to all those we've known who didn't come home.

 

Risk is the name of my game. Wouldn't have this great life without it!

 

All of us strive for some element of danger in our lives. Bombing the singletracks we do at times, you can wonder why we do it?
To me it's the victory of surviving unscathed, or relatively unscathed. When I crash and burn... breaking bones, tearing tendons, and ligaments, I'm usually okay with it.
It's a sickness for me that announces I'm a daredevil and I like to live outside the fuzzy lines of security. It means I'm alive!
I wear those scars, plates and pin as a badge of honor. I'm proud to share them.
I'm not saying you have to have them to be hardcore, but I think that when you do have them it tends to make it self evident that you are hardcore.

I could never be the guy in the bleachers... I will live on my definition of "the edge" via mountain bikes as long as my body holds up.
If I die? I want it to be on my bike.
Seriously.

Hayden and Inge were living their dream. I am so sad that Hayden's story ended the way it did. I'm sure he would rather have been with Inge.
My heart is broken with this...

 

I really appreciate your thoughts, guys. You help me understand my...lack of understanding and clarity.

On occasion, something sets you back on your heels. This is that something for me, I guess. Salute to you all.

 

I was stationed with a guy named Ken in the early 2000's. Huge dude, probably 6'6" and 300 pounds. No surprise, his high school son played football. He never cared about promotions, and was criticized for it. He was about to reach his 20 year mark only reaching E5 (while I did advance faster than average, I hit E6 in 5 years). He was going to be forced out into retirement at his 20 year mark if he didn't get promoted. I asked him why he didn't try for the next step: "Because I enjoy what I do. If I get promoted, I won't be able to do the fun jobs anymore."

Made sense to me.

He also rode dirt bikes, commuted 150 miles round trip on a Goldwing (which he made look small), and did an annual charity ride to DC for the Vietnam Memorial. He lost all the toes on one foot after a wreck and had to learn how to walk without them (easier said than done). Some of his coworkers gave him hell after getting hurt bull riding. Yes, he liked to ride bulls for fun too. He took a lot or risks, paid a lot of prices, but always enjoyed his life. His wife had a medical condition and died around 2001, but he and his son carried on loving life together.

I got word when I was back east in training that he died when the car he was a passenger in rolled, killing him and his son. He wasn't taking any risks, just riding as a passenger late at night when the driver, his son, fell asleep.

Meanwhile, I know countless people who don't want to take risks, and they hate life. They are miserable people, and get more miserable as time goes by and they realise what they missed out on.

Which person do you want to be?

I'm going to be Ken. My wife supports me, and we know the risks.

 

Without risk, there is no reward.

I have friends who think I am a daredevil and have a death wish. Those same friends think I am accident prone. To them, I agree... for sake of argument.

Of all the things I have done causing bodily injury. I would do them all again in a heart beat. I knew then the risk and that hasn't changed. Like @Mikie said, I seriously hope I die while on my bike. One of the best ways to remind yourself you are alive is to scare the piss out of yourself doing something you love. To me there is no better feeling.

 

Illness, suicide, mis-adventure, car crash, plane crash, murder, war-there are many ways to die.
The only way to live is for today, for the living, because the dead know no more.
We have all been touched by death and it has shaped our life with it's painful kiss.
Carry on, @mike. It is what they would have done...

 

Story:

http://ktla.com/2017/10/11/after-gi...-that-he-survived-climber-takes-his-own-life/

 

Thanks for the link, Ross. I had not heard her beacon was with her but turned off.

So often it's the trivial stuff that bites, because we let down our guard – mentally, gear-wise or both. It happens too often to ignore, but it keeps happening. The human condition, I guess.

 

It seems it is the trivial things that can matter the most in some situations.
It was a routine traffic stop...
He had flown that route a hundred times...
A trail she knew very well...
You get the picture.
After my messenger years, my greatest fear is that I get taken out by a bus. Big, noisy, and obnoxiously driven, they can still sneak up on the unwary.

 

Yeah, 42A may still get me... I'm racing it down Lincoln Ave. every morning I ride to work.

 

My nemesis was the 187 along Huntington Blvd. transitioning to Foothill Blvd./Route 66.

 

I can see why this is a devastating loss for you, @mike, and you have my condolences.

 

First, thank you @mike for sharing the story, baring your soul and expressing your conflict.

Responsibility vs. Challenge/Risk/Euphoria/Exhilaration/etc.

I get very, very angry when I see "daredevils" such as guys who risk certain death for YouTube fame, be it riding a bike on a 500' high, 4" wide bridge railing, jumping across buildings or other manner of hubris. Why does it anger me? Because life is a gift, and each of us matters to someone. To throw it away on a "stunt" or for YouTube fame is criminal and offensive.

However, doing something dangerous with passion makes sense to me - and there is a difference. I think that difference is - will a mistake likely result in minor/moderate injury or will it result in certain death? Do I love the feeling of the act, or just the possibility of great bodily injury or death?

We on this forum love calculated risk, and we prefer different points on that continuum. Your friends (and you) live a bit farther along that continuum, but I don't see your passions as irresponsible or intentionally death defying. I can totally understand the guilt associated with a mistake resulting in a loved one's death.

I think texting while driving is far more ridiculous than rock climbing, because the results can be catastrophic not just for the one who makes the mistake, but innocents as well. And there is NOTHING to be gained from doing it.

Age, responsibilities, accumulated injuries and near misses eventually temper our bravado and shift our recreational interests. How else do you explain 29er singlespeed hardtails? (Sorry for the cheap joke.)

Thank you again Mike for your passion and honesty. You know some very cool athletes and adventurers, and we know that every loss or injury hurts you.

 

When I hear some "daredevil" has died doing a stunt and that he/she has left behind a partner and several children, I instantly think of how selfish the act was.

Exactly! My riding is about the fun and feel factor as opposed to going as fast as possible over all obstacles. Definitely due to the causes you listed.

 

I saw this yesterday, but held off responding until I had more time to read a few of the regular news articles... They were so young and full of life! And it sounds like that is what the families are choosing to remember. His family respects his decision at the end. I can't fathom the strength it took to make that statement.

I've enjoyed reading every one of the posts above. Different perspectives... I'll add one more.

On our ride across Main Divide, while listening to the others talk about the trials and tribulations of modern dating , you and I had a little different talk. We talked about long term relationships, and the happiness that comes with them. From your description, I knew that she is the perfect match for you... A true complement. With that, do you think you could hold her back from the activities you two so enjoy? It seems like she's an equal partner on those outings of yours, reveling and sharing in the risk/reward equation as much as yourself. Enjoy it. Keep living... And those of us who are more comfortable at a lower risk threshold will continue to live vicariously.

Thanks for sharing the story, mike.

 

Think about the times when you're happy
Think about the times when you're sad
Think about the life you're living
Think about your life and be glad

You are living
You are in the world
And your life belongs to you
You are living
You are of the earth
And the earth is of you too

There'll be times when you're lonely
There'll be times when you're down
There are times, you remember
With a smile or a with a frown

You are living
You are in the world
And your life belongs to you
You are living
You are of the earth
And the earth is of you too

Think about the times when you're happy
Think about the times when you're sad
Think about the life you're living
Think about your life and be glad

You are living
You are in the world
And your life belongs to you
You are living
You are of the earth
And the earth is of you too


Thank you, Steve, Chris, Jim, Ross. (And everyone who contributed here.)

 

So hard to hear this. Condolences to their families, friends and people they touched in their lives, which sounds like many. @mike I can see how this could knock you on your butt and confuse the heck out of ya, esp. being closer and familiar with their adventures and lives and personalities. And the way it goes down on a seemingly routine backcountry day-ski trip, for those two that have done some much more crazy stuff....

Can’t add much to the points of view of the various responses already. I’m surely not one of the ‘damn the torpedoes’ kind of people, each of us has to make those calls based on risk tolerance and the perceived importance of the success if you do take that risk. And yeah, if you can treat every situation like it’s going to go bad and be prepared always....

@mike thanks for posting this, I don’t know much about climbing or back country skiing (except what you and @kioti have shared). But this got me to do some more reading, always good to learn and keep the mind and thought processes working, and consider alternative points of view. This link is to an article I found that Hayden had published a couple months ago. It’s long.. maybe an hour read, but some good stuff, could easily translate to our mountainbiking and partners.
http://eveningsends.com/the-day-we-sent-logical-progression/

And not that it means much of anything, except having a little familiarity with the area… spent a week at a ranch this summer a couple miles down the dirt road from the trailhead they started at. Beautiful and rugged area. A slice of heaven in my mind. Rest in Peace Hayden and Inge.

 

From that angle, a fireman rushing into a burning building is selfish for leaving behind a family.

 

The firefighter doesn't do it for youtube views or to show others how rad she is, though. She does it to save the lives and property of others. Major diff, but I can see your philosophical point.

When the recording devices come out, I recoil. I've shared a number of MTB vids and such, but trying something necky for the camera is something I try to never do. It's unhealthy motivation, IMO – in my feeble mind it obscures the "right" reason to challenging oneself.

 

@mike took the words put of my mouth.
Fireman and policemen and others as such are taking a calculated risk in which they are gambling their life, health and overall well-being for financial security, status, and a sense of duty to community.
Nothing wrong with that.
Most are covered by very good health insurance and life insurance provided by the employer. I would bet most of these you tubers dont.

 

I just try not to be judgmental of the reasons why.

We are in awe of people who do incredible things for the camera, then criticise others for the same thing minutes later. Very hypocritical to say that watching Redbull Rampage is awesome, but a guy doing parkour isn't.

Most of those people doing awesome things on awesome bikes today likely didn't have insurance while in the process of becoming awesome.

Regardless, I was willing to die in service of my country (hopefully for good causes). But that means nothing to the wife who would have to go on without me. Whether it be because I rode off a cliff on SART or swam in rough seas to save a life and didn't make it back. She is still alone.

 

Should I quit triathlon?

https://www.reuters.com/article/us-...ot-rare-and-risks-rise-with-age-idUSKCN1BT2LO

 

Only if you're out of shape.

 

We? I'm in awe of people doing incredible things for their own personal gratification, I'm not at all in awe of someone doing necky stuff to impress others and garner sponsors by making vids. How to accurately draw that distinction? Not possible, I'd say.

Spot on, though, in pointing out that, on a certain level, jumping bikes is no different than jumping between buildings or any so-called extreme activities. Climbers like to think that proximity flyers are doing something excessively dangerous. It's a classic argument. 5% of all climbers didn't die doing their thing last year, though, so maybe there is a difference.

 

Not at all. There is a purpose to the risk. A noble purpose at that.

 

Life in the age of social media.. I saw this ski mountaineering video last night and it's worth watching: