Craigslist Gold (The Best the Worst of Graigs List!)

click on link for your reading entertainment.

http://inlandempire.craigslist.org/cto/5694837817.html

 

For those who will see this thread after the CL post is gone:


Totally Radical Beast Baja Bug - $2500 (Yucaipa) hide this posting
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1974 Volkswagen Beetle

fuel: gas
title status: clean
transmission: manual

Typically, if you'd say "Hitler once had a good idea", you'd be asking for a good ass kickin'. But here's probably the only thing that can prove that statement true. The ultimate vehicular package. A kickass car that's German engineered, made of pure testosterone, and makes Jeep its bitch. What we have here is more than just a 1974 Volkswaggin' Baja Bug. What we have here is the ultimate collection of big balls, masculinity, and awesomeness stuffed into a fuel efficient, "Not compensating for anything" package. If you're looking to be the talk of all your friends, if you want to be idolized by your bastard brother's children, and want women to fall for you like they do for that Tom Cruise gui ... look no further. For you have been gifted with the glorious 1974 Bitchin' Baja Bug. If you like being a schmeckle and want to keep living a boring, empty life where comfort, working lights, and "AC" take place of pure badassness and immature, childish fun then find yourself another vehicle. Maybe look into a Prius for that may better fit your lifestyle. If you've decided that you think you can possibly tame the beast that is the Baja, read on and let me enlighten you on why this vehicle will bring good times to you and whoever you feel is blessed enough to experience it.

- It's a friggin flat black 1974 VW Bug. That right there should be enough.
- Looks like some Sh!t from Mad Max.
- 1600CC dual port engine completely rebuilt with mainly Empi parts. It sounds like it's going to violate your sanity and then go on to ride a bear across a laser-shark filled lava river. Wtf does that mean? I have no idea. But I know it sounds like pure manliness, whiskey, and beards. And, Idk, Lederhosen. It is German after all.
- Less than 15k miles. Fresher than your girlfriend.
- Dual single barrel Solex Carbs. Solex. Slex. Sex. Enough said.
- Freshly tuned up with brand new spark plugs, oil, spark plug wires, battery, ignition coil, and performance distributor. Also installed Nitrous and quad twin screw turbochargers. That part was a lie. Or was it?
- Registered until March of 2017, clean title, never needs to be smogged.
- Torsion bars are cranked up, and it has older aftermarket coilovers. So it has more travel because of the torsion bars, but it's still relatively soft because of the coilovers. This means it kicks ass on all terrain and gives you just enough comfort to enjoy yourself more than you already are, without letting you forget exactly how totally rad you're being.
- Freshly painted retro five star wheels. Five stars, four wheels. 20 spokes all together. One spoke for every two panties you'll be dropping when you fire up the bitchin baja beast bug.
- Rear tires are Indy 500 tires in awesome condition, then again, what on the car isn't in awesome condition?
- Front tires are pretty bald. But that's okay. They're prototype offroad racing slicks.
- Aftermarket performance brakes. I wanted to put a parachute on the back instead but CHP won't allow it.
- Fiberglass hood and fenders.
- Comes with roof light bar (not the LED bar in front because I said no).
- Just installed a newer external oil filter and oil cooler. Typically the cars runs at around 1000 degrees from all the power it's pushin, so I had to keep her a little cooler.
- Custom engine cage. This allows everyone to see the jet-like boxer four-cylinder that puts Subi to shame.
- Has two front bucket seats, no rear. Seats needs to be redone. Make for a more challenging love life not having the rear seat but yo, you're a risk taker. You like challenges.
- Aftermarket steering wheel because the stock one broke after I jumped it 600 feet .
- Pretty good little sound system with an amp and aux cord, no subwoofer in it though. I decided the exhaust alone had enough bass.
- Push button start, auxiliary switches for the lights, ignition, fuel pump, light bar, and radio. Literally just so that you can feel like the badass you are.
- Empi shifter.
- I have the original 4 speed "3 Rib" tranny for it, but one or two shift forks broke. So the trans needs a rebuild, or another one can be bought on CL for about $150. Also needs a new clutch because it went out when the trans broke. The engine is just pushing waaaaay too much power for the previous trans. It broke when I was flying at 184 miles per hour through the whoops in Glamis with Pastrana.
- The last owner did a crappy job wiring the car, but I have a brand new in box wiring kit for it worth a few hundred dollars. I just haven't had the time to do the wiring and I don't feel like insulting the car by tearing out its insides. It might have me killed.
- Has two "Fukenmüven" stickers that add about 50HP each
- Only rust I've seen is in the fenders right behind the front wheels but that's just from the tears of 4x4 owners when they see how great the bug does compared to their $10,000 rigs.

In summary - This is simply the most incredibly awesome vehicle on the face of the planet. If you think you have what it takes to manage this ballsy little rig, you can shoot me a text or email me. Or not. Your call. I'd love to keep it but I've found myself blacking out, and then smoking Cuban cigars, eating a strict diet of Bacon, drinking only Whiskey, and losing both World Wars. It's time for someone else to experience this awesome piece of machinery.







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• do NOT contact me with unsolicited services or offers

 

Oh my @Redman !
That guy should write for bad comedy's. That was hilarious. I never knew I could have it so good with a broken Volkswagon! What a dumbazz I have been!

 

I learned to drive stick in one when I was a little kid, but it didn't look anywhere near that nice...

 

Chuck Norris approves of broken transmission and clutch.

 

Would those work on my bike as well???

 

Veee shpell Volkswagen mit an "E", never mit an "O"! Donnerwetter und Sheiße! Es is not a wagon, es ist a Wagen.

 

Deserves best of craigslist for sure!

 

I had a '64 that I converted to a Baja when I was 14 and sold when I was 16. Loads of fun!

 

I'M SELLING MY REING TO BUY THIS VW !!! HELL YEAH !!

 

"fresher than your girlfriend..."

Priceless!

 

Gary Fisher - Fully Customized Street Racing Bike - $2500 (Santa Monica) hide this posting
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© craigslist - Map data © OpenStreetMap
(google map)

condition: like new
make / manufacturer: Gary Fisher
model name / number: Genesis
serial number: WL3399753

Totally customized Gary Fisher-Genesis Professional Down Hill Racing Mountain Bike that I Converted into a Pro Street/BMX type of bike. It literally weighs 35 lbs, seriously one of the lightest bikes you will ever ride. All professional racing parts, Mavic racing rims with slicks. I wanted a different look than everyone else so I mixed & matched a black rim in the front with black forks and no suspension in the front to make it lighter and easier to jump on streets. It has DMX Shimano 3 piece crank, a very small gear ratio, single sprocket, no changing gears, more BMX Racing for big boys/men! It is 41 inches in a half long. There is a 18 teeth Pro Cog tensioner conversion kit to keep tension on the chain because everything is quick release. Cannondale neck, Avid rear disc brakes, almost every part is brand new except a couple of parts are used that I got online. I dont have time to ride because I work to much, that is the reason I'm selling it. This bike deserves to be ridden, I put this bike together to ride and jump in Santa Monica/Venice. I wanted one of the most unique bad ass bikes you will ever see and I pulled it off! I did not build it to sell so really poured all my heart and soul into this build, and now it's time to part with it. Comes with a new kryptanite lock which cost $100. Brand New the Racing Mountain Bike was $6,000.00, the frame alone was $2,000.00 , today this bike is well worth $4,500.00 I'm asking 2,500 O.B.O

 

Go get it boys! haha

 

For that price, I am going to Santa Monica tomorrow to pick it up. What a bargain.

 

Looks like a bike built up of a bunch of stolen parts from older bikes.

 

That is SWEEET. I Love that it used to be a $6000 downhill racing mountain bike. I know the Gary Fischer Sugars were winning all of the DHs back in - never. I also love that at 35lbs, it's seriously one of the lightest bikes I will ever ride. But the clincher for me is the Cannondale neck. I've always wanted a Cannondale neck for my bike. I called in sick to work today to pursue this beauty.

 

That pesky language thing again...

 

That Fisher was scary flexy.

They only made them for a year or 2. In the XL size if you took your hand off the bars, it would get crazy speed wobbles.

One of the last bikes I would ever consider for a BMX/Pro Street bike.

 

@Redman
This is the new classic Thread. The Best... The Worst... of Craig's list.

 

This can't be serious... I call joke. He tried to see how many different brands he could get on that one bike.

 

That's because Chuck Norris does not NEED a transmission and clutch. Chuck is direct drive...

 

Fictional or not, it's comedy gold...

- "Mix and match" as a design approach
- "Literally" 35 lbs. Not in the figurative sense, understand
- The seat... Somebody took a hard landing?

Props to comedic skill if it's a joke. If not? Props to comedic skill!

 

Best of Craigslist is always good for a laugh (prob. NSFW)
https://www.craigslist.org/about/best/lax/142248974.html?lang=en&cc=us

this post You Rule, Vietnamese Waxer Lady




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My regular waxer was not available and I just could not bear the wild, untamed amazon bush jungle that my, well, bush had become for another day.

So I came to you on my lunch hour, Anonymous Vietnamese Waxer Lady who works at the cheapie nail place. We were mere strangers before this afternoon, but after knowing you only an hour, I feel like I must point out the reasons why you rule.

When it was necessary to get on all fours to do the �taint� part of the wax, you applied the wax so delicately to my bunghole, then asked, in what I assumed were two of the only five English words you know, �Too hot?� I responded yes, it was too hot. And without hesitation, you blew on it to cool the hot wax. YOU BLEW ON MY BUNGHOLE, Vietnamese Waxer Lady. Do you know how special that is? Nobody blows on the bung. Nobody.

Since you were a bit clumsy with the wax, there were many bits leftover that did not get taken up onto the �Strip of Doom� as I like to call it. So without any sort of trepidation whatsoever, you happily took a cotton ball and dug the wax out of my vaginal canal yourself. How did you manage to do that without making me feel the least bit uncomfortable, Vietnamese Waxer Lady? Were you a gynecologist back in Vietnam and they wouldn�t let you practice medicine in the United States when you immigrated here, and so now you wax pubes for a living? I know that kind of thing happens all the time, and it wouldn�t surprise me at all to know this occupation has not been your first foray into coochdom. And I know this is totally inappropriate, but I even started to feel, dare I say, a tiny bit frisky from the action. You just seemed to know my vagina so very well. Almost like you were two old friends, and I was this new acquaintance showing up to lunch with you and my vagina, but then was all like �Oh. I see you two have already met.�

Since you don�t speak much English, you had to motion to me where to place my legs in the air to best reach the �corner� as you called it. Most people would have been uncomfortable with their legs in the air and then having their butt cheeks spread further apart, mere centimeters from the face of a stranger. But you smiled at me and with a subtle expression, indicated that you, too, felt my pain. You should give lessons to medical students, Vietnamese Waxer Lady, on how to have good bedside manner. Or I guess in your case, ass-side manner.

I thanked you with a good tip, but I want to thank you here, publicly, for your selfless action, and for doing your part on behalf of all humanity to keep my pubes under control.

 

Comes with a brand new kryptonite lock, which cost 'somebody' $100; and which has been PRE-cut in half for ya!

 

Not in the same league as the $6000 bastardized Trek or the Vietnamese wax lady, but still worth a chuckle... Or maybe a chickle.

 

Is "BICK" even a word?

 

Nobody blows on the bung

 

It's not Craigslist, but it's gold.

www.ebay.com/itm/STRICTLY-LIMITED-EDITION-STEVE-JOBS-SUPER-RARE-APPLE-IPHONE-4S-1-OF-56-READ-/282348853643?hash=item41bd4d998b:g:qIwAAOSwo4pYlKUd

 

Am I the only one who doesn't visit these sites??